Have you ever found yourself constantly busy, unable to sit still, or chasing the next goal—even when you’re exhausted? Do you often fear being “too much” or “not enough,” and try to outpace those feelings by staying in motion? If so, you might be carrying the imprint of an abandonment wound paired with a flight trauma response.
What Is the Abandonment Wound?
An abandonment wound often forms in early life when a child experiences physical or emotional absence from a caregiver. This can happen through neglect, separation, inconsistent presence, or even emotional unavailability. The child internalizes the belief that love is conditional—and that being “left” is somehow their fault.
Over time, this wound can morph into deep fears of rejection, being unwanted, or not belonging. And in the face of such pain, the nervous system finds ways to protect us. One of these is the flight response.
Understanding the Flight Response
The flight response is the trauma pattern of escaping danger through movement or avoidance. It’s the “run” in the classic fight-flight-freeze-fawn sequence. When paired with an abandonment wound, the flight response becomes a coping strategy to avoid being left again.
Instead of sitting with the terror of rejection or the ache of loneliness, a person may:
Overwork, overachieve, or chase success
Constantly stay “busy” to avoid stillness or vulnerability
Emotionally disconnect or intellectualize feelings
Avoid closeness or intimacy, fearing it will end
Set impossible standards to be “good enough” to stay loved
In essence, it’s a life lived in motion—driven not by passion, but by fear.
The Hidden Cost
While flight behaviors may be praised in a productivity-driven culture, they often leave a person feeling burned out, unseen, and unfulfilled. Relationships may suffer, not from conflict, but from distance. Intimacy becomes threatening, and stillness brings up the very emotions they’re trying to outrun—shame, sadness, and fear of being alone.
Final Thoughts
If your nervous system learned that motion was the safest path, know that it did so to protect you. But healing doesn’t require you to run. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is slow down, listen inward, and allow yourself to be fully here.
Because you deserve to feel safe—not just when you’re moving, but when you’re still.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to learn more about yourself, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you. Reach out—healing is not something you have to do alone.
Sandra Ragheb
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