Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, it’s never quite enough? That inner voice that whispers, “You should’ve done more, tried harder, been better”—that’s often the echo of a guilt wound.
When guilt becomes the foundation of your self-worth, it can trap you in a cycle where you constantly apologize for existing, overthink every step, and second-guess your choices. Pair this with a freeze response—your nervous system’s way of shutting down under stress—and you may find yourself stuck, unable to act, even when deep down you want to.
The Guilt Wound and Self-Esteem
Your guilt wound may come from early experiences where you were made to feel responsible for others’ emotions or blamed for things beyond your control. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem, making you believe you are “bad” or “wrong” at your core rather than simply human.
That self-blame becomes the lens through which you see yourself. Instead of celebrating your small wins, you might minimize them. Instead of trusting your instincts, you might silence them.
Freeze Response and the Loss of Agency
When you’re in a freeze state, it can feel like your body and mind betray you. You want to speak up, but your throat tightens. You want to move forward, but you feel paralyzed.
This isn’t weakness—it’s survival. Your nervous system learned that shutting down was safer than fighting or fleeing. But here’s the cost: your agency, the ability to choose and act, gets hijacked. You end up watching life happen rather than feeling like you are actively shaping it.
Reclaiming Your Power
Here’s the hopeful part—you can reclaim your agency. You don’t have to be defined by guilt or trapped in freeze.
Every time you recognize your guilt wound speaking, you create space to respond with self-compassion rather than criticism. Every small action you take while frozen—like taking a slow breath, or reminding yourself “I am safe now”—builds your capacity to move again.
Your self-esteem grows not from perfection, but from showing up for yourself in these small, courageous ways. Each step, no matter how tiny, is evidence that you’re capable of reclaiming your power.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to learn more about yourself — reach out to book your first session.
Sandra Ragheb
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