Have you ever told yourself, “I know I’m safe now,” yet still felt panic rise in your body? Or reminded yourself, “I know this person cares about me,” while battling the urge to withdraw? This tension—between what we know logically and what we feel emotionally—is a common experience for people healing from trauma.
It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a reflection of how trauma reshapes the nervous system, leaving old responses clashing with your present wise self.
Why Knowledge and Feelings Don’t Match
Trauma leaves imprints on both the mind and body. Even when the threat is gone, the nervous system may remain on high alert. This creates a split:
Cognitive knowing: Your rational mind recognizes that you are safe, capable, or valued.
Emotional/physiological response: Your body reacts as if danger, rejection, or abandonment is still present.
This mismatch is not “irrational”—it’s your survival system doing its job a little too well.
Common Examples of the Conflict
Relationships: You know your partner is trustworthy, but your body braces for betrayal.
Self-worth: You know you’ve achieved something, but you feel like an imposter.
Safety: You know the situation isn’t dangerous, yet your heart races and your body freezes.
Trauma Responses That Override Logic
The body’s trauma responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—often activate before the rational brain can step in. These automatic reactions can:
Trigger overwhelming emotions.
Disconnect you from your present reality.
Keep you stuck in old coping patterns, even when they no longer serve you.
The Role of the Present Wise Self
Your wise self is the part of you that is grounded, compassionate, and connected to the present moment. It’s the voice that says: “I’m safe now. I have choices. I’m not defined by my past.”
Accessing this self takes practice, and often requires bridging the gap between body and mind.
Bridging the Gap: Practices That Help
Mindfulness and grounding: Simple breathwork or sensory awareness can anchor you in the present.
Self-compassion: Speaking to yourself with kindness when the critic or trauma response takes over.
Therapeutic support: Trauma-informed therapy (like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or CBT) helps integrate body and mind.
Gentle exposure: Gradually practicing new behaviors that reinforce safety and trust.
Final Thoughts
If you feel torn between what you know and what you feel, you’re not alone. Healing means learning to honor both: acknowledging your body’s protective instincts while nurturing the wise self that reminds you of your strength and safety in the present. With time, the two can begin to align, creating more peace and coherence within you.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to learn more about yourself — reach out to book your first session.
Sandra Ragheb
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